Conversion Talk Given by Nelson Khan

Conversion Talk by Nelson Khan, one of the people whom Alexis taught & then joined the church:

Greetings Brothers and Sisters, for those of you who do not know me, my name is Nelson and I am new convert to the church.

Brother Beckstrand asked me to speak on conversion today which in a way makes sense because I am a convert.

But after watching the talk on conversion by W. Mack Lawrence I had no idea what to talk about. He covered the blessings of conversion in his talk thoroughly and most people here are already converted. Why would I repeat something most of you already know and already live?

So what I want to do is tell you a little bit of my conversion story and work in the blessings of conversion, both those Brother Lawrence spoke of and those that I have felt personally.

I attended church from an early age. I went to sunday school, was part of the Awana’s club which is a sort of Christian “Boy Scouts” program. My family almost never missed a Sunday. By the time I was 12 I had read the whole new testament and much of the old testament.

However, I never once felt the Holy Spirit and though I claimed to others that I was a Christian, I knew deep down that I didn’t believe in Jesus or in many parts of the bible. I had lots of questions and because my family was so “Christian”, as in we were always at the church, praying and serving in church activities - I did not want to be the black sheep and express my doubt. These questions began to eat away at what little faith I did have. This combined with seeing so much hypocrisy in the church, led me to be an agnostic and then an atheist in my heart.

Brother Lawrence said “It is insufficient to merely hear the word of God; we must follow it.” I had heard the word, but I did not follow and so I did not receive the blessings of conversion. I refused to be baptized and would zone out in church. I felt like I was forced to be part of a community that I wanted no part in.

As I grew farther from God I did not realize that I was drawing nearer to Satan. It has been said “The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was in convincing man that he did not exist.”

Satan had a plan for me, even though I did not know it. I ran into a world of sin very quickly after denying God. Satan got a tight grip on me and the grip grew ever tighter: I had no one to talk to about my sins and so I kept them secret and they began to eat at my spirit and draw me deeper into bondage.

I led a life that was very lonely and I began to see the fruits of my actions. Galatians 6:7 says “Do not be deceived. God is not mocked. For as a man reaps, he shall sow.” Where I could have had the fruits of the spirit and the blessings of conversion I instead had the fruit of sin: isolation, fear, guilt, anger, greed, hatred for others and depression.

One blessing Brother Lawrence spoke of was a blessing of progression. He quoted President Harold B. Lee saying “One who is converted strives continually to improve on inward weaknesses and not merely the outer appearance.”

Satan’s whisperings  convinced me that I must do the opposite. That deep down everyone shared my problems and that there was no escape. That to be happy I didn’t need to be free from sin, what I needed was money. What I needed was cool clothes, a cool car, loose women, alcohol and drugs. If I had those things then I would finally be happy.

So I pursued all these material things that I thought would make me happy. I would feel good for a season but soon enough each of these things I pursued would take it’s toll on me. My love of money turned me against friends and family. My desire for nice things caused me to overwork myself and burn the few bridges of friendship that I had. I grew addicted to many things. I broke laws and put myself and my family in danger of arrest and in danger of physical violence.

I knew what I was doing was wrong, but not having a belief in God, I accepted my sin as part of who I was, as something integral - something I could not change. I was deep in addiction and had no care whether I lived, died or went to prison. Satan’s plan for my life was nearing fruition.

But one day I awoke to my dogs barking like mad at the door. I went to go calm them and heard voices outside. Fearing it was police I checked through the peephole in the door; but I didn’t see anyone. I cracked open the door to get a better look and my dog somehow got through the door and ran into the middle of the street to three girls in dresses. I was relieved it wasn’t cops and went to go grab my dog.

Galatians 5:22 says The fruit of the spirit is love, peace, joy, self-control, kindness, goodness and faithfulness.

When I began to talk to these sister missionaries I could tell there was something different about them. What I saw in them was the fruits of the spirit. They were happy, they were full of joy, they were patient and kind and I could tell they had inner peace. Nothing seemed to upset them. Not my bad attitude. Not my dogs barking at them, not me lying to them and giving them a fake name.

I was living in a world where everyone was unhappy, angry and impatient. A world where there was no love and peace.

To see that these missionaries had what I wanted all along, that they had the happiness that I was searching for my entire life - I became interested in what they had to say. They spoke with me many times and they were always excited to see me and to answer my questions. They were patient and kind and honest even when I challenged their faith.

Brother Lawrence quoted the book of Luke saying “When thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren”.

The missionaries have given me the seeds of faith and someday I will be able to share the fruits of my faith with all of you and with the world.

Brother Lawrence said one thing that struck me deeply, “When there are throbs in the heart of the individual Latter-Day Saint he will be found doing his duty in the church, he will have within him a great desire to share the gospel, he will be found strengthening his brothers and sisters”

Those are strong words and something I hope we will each do our best to live up to.

I want to close with a verse, James 1:22 “Be you doers of the word and not hearers only or you deceive yourselves.”

Do not just hear the words, do not deceive yourselves as I did. Listen and do good in the name of Christ who has freed us all.

I know that what I have experienced through these missionaries, through baptism, conversion and the power of the Holy Ghost is real. Jesus has saved me and he has saved you and all mankind if they will accept him and repent. I testify these things in the name of the Father and of his son Jesus Christ, Amen.